You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
