he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize