I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
