DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
