grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
