Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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