When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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