If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
