So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize