ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
