Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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