remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
