he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i came on her dog
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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