but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
