Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
