Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
