Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
