the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
