Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize