Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
