Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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