Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
