I didn't shave. On purpose
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
