i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
