so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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