lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
