A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Maybe he injected his testicle?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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