I will die if light touches me.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize