Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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