Cold hands, warm shart.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
