I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize