For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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