The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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