shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
