Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
