I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
