just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i now understand why vodka
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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