So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
