I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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