everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
did you just send me my own nude
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
