she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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