He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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