Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
