I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
