I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
