There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize