That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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