it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
