You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
