why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize