Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
