As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
