With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
