there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
