He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
