I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
