im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i would punch a child for taco bell
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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