how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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