i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
