He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
