Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
