The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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