My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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