there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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