and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
