He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
