i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize