I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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