Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
