So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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