So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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