Midget sex pt 2 tonight
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
